Fool Me Once
by Turbotail88
Summary: "Who are you?" the petty criminal muttered weakly. The person above him adjusted their glasses and straightened, fixing the collar of their blazer. "Lenz. Krista Lenz." / James Bond AU Challenge-fic, Ymir/Krista


James Bond AU! I've wanted to do this for a while now. The point of this is to have a James Bond-esque story (with explosions, dashing spies, evil and intelligent villains, sneaking around, things typical of the famed franchise). There is also the requirement of a secret lair, belonging to either the villain or the spy/main character. Everything else is purely up to the author's decision.

I wouldn't have been able to post the story tomorrow, and so CanaanAlphardForever had been kind enough to agree to posting it today.

And here it is! Enjoy!

x

The desperate man sprinted as fast as he could away from the crime scene, clutching a bag of cash tightly in one hand and a gun in the other, His masked face peeked behind his shoulder for an instant, then his throat tightened as he turned his head round and pushed his legs harder, blindly firing a few shots. The person in pursuit of him was fast, deadly and very clever.

The gender was indeterminable and didn't matter – whether this person was a chick or a dude, he was gone either way. The pursuer was very well-dressed; a formal black suit, a white shirt underneath, a black bow tie, fancy black shoes and shades covering the person's eyes. Their hair seemed to be tied back in a ponytail, but the man knew many colleagues who kept their hair long as a sign of masculinity.

Back to the present, the criminal turned a corner and shot several bullets in the air to scare off the crowd in front of him. Screams and shrieks of fear answered him and he manoeuvred easily without the obstacles. He glanced behind him once more and his eyes bulged as the mysterious individual seemed closer than before, with no sign of visible exhaustion. Were they even human?

Deciding not to think it over, the criminal continued running, hoping that one of his buddies would be able to bail him out soon. He had sent a distress signal and knew the corporation would back him up. He was a valuable player after all. This mission had only gone wrong because one unaccounted variable had turned up – the surprise federal agent popping out from under one of the desks as he was stealing from the bank's vault.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he cursed as he picked it up, jumping over a spilled barrel and stumbling. This slowed him down considerably and he decided not to peek behind him again, afraid that what he would see would destroy his resolve. Instead, he looked at the text message on his cellphone and nearly dropped it.

_'We're not coming for you, Elliot. You're dead weight. Thank you for all your help.'_

Those... those bastards! Elliot nearly cried as he finally realized his situation. He went against common sense and glanced behind him one final time, then toppled over as the person threw themselves at him. Rolling across the pavement, the person straddled his waist and delivered a solid punch to his jaw, disarmed him and secured the bag of money.

Elliot groaned in pain as the individual stood and dusted themselves off. He turned over and weakly got to his hands and knees, looking up at the person who caught him

"Who are you?" the petty criminal muttered weakly.

The person above him released their hair from its tied state, letting it loose in a golden mane. _She _(it was pretty obvious now, since a man could not be that tiny with those hips and there was a slight bulge on her chest) adjusted her glasses and fixed the collar of her blazer.

"Lenz. Krista Lenz."

A swift kick to Elliot's head rendered him unconscious.

x

"Codename Krista Lenz. Status report?"

Krista sighed as she checked her watch. The shadow on her screen flickered briefly. "Target is neutralized. He had a badge on him, so I'm sure he belongs to the corporation. You know... the Titans."

"Yes. I know." Pause. "I have another mission for you."

"L, listen, it's been a long day and-"

"This will get you closer to _her_."

The agent sighed once more and rolled her eyes. "On with it."

"Codename Hunter will accompany you to a wine and dine at a prestigious establishment somewhere in the Russian Federation. The corporation is hosting an event in celebration of their successful investors. It is rumoured that _she _will be there."

"Just a rumour?"

"The point of capturing that damned thief was to extract information from him, steal an invitation and confirm the event. I suggest you interrogate him before the local police get their dirty hands on him. Once they get him, you can kiss any leads goodbye and bow down to their goddamn jurisdiction."

"You sound upset."

L laughed. "Oh no, I'm fine. Mostly. Anyway, dump the target in an alley and squeeze as much as you can out of him. Leave him tied for the police with the money and gun. Hunter will meet you at the airport and debrief you fully. Over and out."

The screen crackled and turned to static. Krista shook her head and hefted the man over her shoulders, carrying him to a dark alley. There, she pulled out a can of tough foam string, the kind that hardened instantly with the contact of air. She sprayed it all over the criminal once she placed him against a brick wall and brought out a bag of smelling salts, which she put directly under his nose. He jolted awake immediately.

"What's going on?" he asked fearfully.

Krista said nothing, but pulled out a pair of leather gloves from her pockets. She slowly wore them, snapping and tightening the leather with her fists. The criminal swallowed nervously and shuddered.

"Who do you work for?" the blonde asked stoically.

The criminal shook his head. "I'm not a sell-out!" he yelled. "Even if they betrayed me, I won't betray them!"

"Sounds like you're expendable. And now that you're in the law's hands, they're clean of you. Well, not yet. I hear you're pretty high on the food chain, eh, Mister Roth?"

Elliot's eyes widened. "How did you..."

Krista ignored him and glided to his side, trailing a finger along his collarbone. She appeared giant compared to him, and he was a good six feet tall. "Mister Roth, I'll only ask you this once. My friends are quite powerful and ruthless compared to me, so I suggest you cooperate. I'd rather keep this as bloodless as possible." She appeared to be thinking as she tapped her chin. "You have two sons and a rather loving wife. I wonder what they would do if an agent suddenly came to their house, claiming their beloved father and husband was caught in an unfortunate car accident."

Elliot's mouth dried and he moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue as he tried to gain his bearings. His mouth opened and his voice cracked slightly. "I... I work for the Titans." He hung his head but the agent would have none of it. She roughly jerked his face up by his chin and stared straight into his eyes with her heavily shaded glasses.

"Who will be attending the party in Russia?" she demanded.

"What party?"

"Don't play dumb with me! Is your leader attending the party?"

"I don't know..."

The blonde's eyes hardened and she reached into the man's jacket, pulling out an invitation to the same party she spoke of. "Not too smart, are you?"

Elliot winced. "Okay, you caught me. Yeah, the leader is gonna be there. But it's not like you'll be able to get her!" His eyes glinted with malice. "She'll have you killed the second she sees you."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Krista smiled and slammed the man's head against the wall, knocking him out again. She sighed and turned on her heel. She threw the gun at the entrance to the alley and casually walked away, bringing out a remote to call up her car. Just as the police siren came to a halt at the other side of the alley, the blonde climbed into the vehicle and drove off.

x

Hunter was one of those nice guys who you could trust to pretty much screw up any sensitive mission. They meant well, but were incompetent in the arts of espionage. Krista had no idea why L had assigned Hunter to her case. She figured he would give her Rhino or Giant, but Hunter? Then again... he was a good distraction when needed.

The tall agent stood out like a sore thumb in the crowd. Krista dressed casually and had packed any formal wear she needed in her luggage. Of course, Hunter was the idiot who decided to stick to his uniform and tell everyone exactly what he did for a living in his own special way.

"Eren! So nice to see you," Krista exclaimed sweetly, smiling and giving Hunter a gentle hug. He reciprocated and took her luggage.

"It's nice to see you too. Shall we?"

Ever the gentleman, he carried both of theirs as they passed by the various clearances before depositing their belongings on a sliding carpet to be stowed away on the plane. Once they boarded, Hunter looked around discreetly and passed her an image of a vicious-looking brunette with a splatter of freckles across the bridge of her nose and cheek bones, mouth set into a tight and seductive smirk. Brown eyes challenged Krista's own blue ones as memories spilled forth. She was brought back when Hunter shook her.

"You okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Fine. So, tell me what's going on. What's our mission?"

Hunter leaned back and sighed. "Levi wants us to go and disguise ourselves as dignitaries seeking a business trades. He wants us to go for the kill and eliminate Ymir, since you confirmed that she would be there. What he doesn't want, is an international scene for the agency."

"Sabotage."

"Exactly. We kill her, plant evidence leading to another suspect, and vanish."

"And how exactly are we supposed to kill her if she carries a gun between her breasts, practically showers with her guards and sleeps half-awake?"

"That's where you come in."

"What?"

"You're her type: she adores petite blondes with big blue eyes. She would let her guard down around you almost immediately."

"I don't think so."

"Huh?"

The blonde pressed her lips tightly and pushed her sunglasses down from her forehead to in front of her eyes. "You wouldn't understand. It won't work."

"Then what do we do?"

"Leave that to me. You're only on this mission for muscle power and desperate measures, am I right?"

Hunter grumbled and angrily turned his head to the window. "Levi's a dick."

"L would cut both your heads if he heard you."

"Well, fuck him."

"I'm sure you do."

Hunter blushed heavily and turned away from Krista's snickering. He shook his head mirthfully. "Whatever happened to sweet, little Krista, huh?" Hunter quickly realized his mistake as Krista's face paled and she lost all trace of humour.

"She died. All that's left is Historia," Krista solemnly answered, refusing to say more. Hunter groaned and shut his eyes tightly. For a secret agent, he certainly had no tact when it came to sensitive matters.

The rest of the plane ride passed in awkward silence, then finally they reached the Domodedovo International Airport, located near Moscow. After clearing all necessary airport duties, the duo hailed a cab and drove to their assigned hotel. The cab driver looked at them in the rear view mirror and nonchalantly slouched.

"Trouble in paradise for this lovely couple?" he asked airily, keeping his eyes trained on Hunter as the man choked on his spit, face red. Krista remained absolutely calm, brow raised.

"There's no trouble, no paradise, and no couple," the blonde replied tersely.

The driver laughed and shook his head. "There's one for ya, Mom. She's got the attitude and the looks. So why are two oddly-dressed folks here in Moscow anyway?"

"Business," Hunter answered, recovered from his spittle battle.

"Vacation," Krista replied, a simultaneous answer with Hunter. They looked at each other and glared, then the driver suddenly turned sharply and floored the gas.

"Perfect!" the driver shouted. "Allow me to give you a tour, free of charge!"

Krista and Hunter glared at each other as they tried to unbuckle their seat belts but failed. The safety mechanisms were locked in place.

"This is all your fault!" Hunter blamed, face red from yelling, "you and your stupid identity phase!"

"Oh yeah, well, at least I don't talk loud to make up for _being_ stupid!"

"Midget!"

"Freak!"

"Ladies, please, I'm currently bringing you to my boss and I'd prefer silence!" the driver laughed as he turned a corner sharply and forced Krista and Hunter to collide against each other. They growled but Hunter nodded discreetly as he flashed a laser against the belts holding them in place. Once cut, the blonde flicked her hair away in contempt.

"You're in my space, idiot!" she yelled, shoving Hunter away. The young man grinned in retort and winked. He reached in front of him and put a knife to the driver's throat. Immediately, the driver's attitude shifted to fear and complacence as he slowed the car down to a stop near a school.

"There we go... perfect," Hunter muttered as he watched Krista pull the driver from his seat and throw him on the ground. She handcuffed him and radioed the agency to report their status. Hunter glanced at the radio, wanting to turn on some music, but did a double-take. Instead of a digital clock or station number, there was a countdown.

_00:10_

_00:09_

_..._

"Bomb! SHIT!" Hunter shouted. He quickly exited the cab and pulled the driver with him as Krista sprinted ahead of him. He screamed for everyone within hearing range to listen and find cover, which they all did without a fuss, thankfully, despite the language barrier.

The bomb went off, a small thing that only hit the citizens with heat, but had anyone been inside, it would have killed them instantaneously. Hunter turned to see the terrorist cab driver laugh maniacally as he rolled around, his hands still cuffed. The agent tightened his fists and punched his cheek. He then grabbed them by the collar of his shirt and forced eye contact.

"Who do you work for?" Hunter demanded, shaking the man violently. When no answer was heard, Hunter repeated his question and pulled his arm back to deliver a punch. Krista approached him and held him back before he could do anything.

"Killing him won't help us," she deadpanned. "The police are getting close and we need to get out of here before they find us. I'd rather not deal with the paperwork."

"Krista, he almost killed all of these people, which included children! Are you really gonna let that go?"

The blonde pondered for a bit then sighed. "We need to prioritize the mission. The police will deal with this asshole. For now, we need to figure out how Ymir found out we were here and if we're safe. The party is tomorrow, so we'll need to survive until then."

The furious agent grit his teeth but nodded, understanding their situation. For good measure, he punched the terrorist again and followed Krista to a rendez-vous point the blonde had secured after contacting the agency. They stepped into a black limo and watched the crime scene unfold after the emergency response team arrived.

"I don't like this," Hunter complained.

"I don't care," Krista replied coldly, "we have one mission and we won't fail." Her eyes darkened considerably. "We'll catch her."

x

The hall which was rented to host the party was grand and spectacular. Pillars of porcelain lined along the walls to support the arched ceiling, from which an archaic, candle-driven chandelier descended from chains at the centre. Both sides of the hall had stairs which led to a higher platform where the host could bring select guests to discuss private matters, or just to get away.

Tables were set up with a self-serve buffet, and though there were many tables and chairs for guests, many dignitaries preferred to stand as they went about and chatted up business deals or political conversations. Krista steered away from anything that would make Hunter spout angrily, especially when the Titans' fortune and success came up.

She wore an elegant red dress that hugged her curves and stopped just below her knees. If required, she could tear the side for easier movement. The bottom flared a bit, allowing her to wear a gun strapped to her thigh. Her high heels were designed to be converted to flats if she ever needed to run. Her arm was currently around one smartly-dressed Hunter, or as he was known now, Eren Jaegar.

"Eren, if she's here then we need to act natural. Mingle with the guests. Eat, dance, and so on. So you need to keep your cool, got it?" she explained, tightening her arm. The young man nodded and moved them to the buffet to sample the food. He poured himself a glass of alcoholic punch and the blonde pinched his arm.

"What, I'm not allowed to enjoy myself?" he moodily complained.

Krista sighed and her head. "Never mind. Address me as Historia at all times and don't forget the mission."

"Got it!"

_'Krista... come in...'_

The blonde pushed her hair back behind her ear and discreetly tapped the communication device in her ear. "A, what's up?"

_'I'm picking up radio transmissions from underneath the hall. I think there's more to this event than we thought.'_

"Radio transmissions? Outside communication? Something is definitely up, and these people might be in trouble," Hunter muttered, clenching his fists. Krista was about to tell him to focus on the mission when Ymir suddenly appeared atop the platform. Her sharp attire instantly knocked the breath out of Krista as she stared up at the brunette. Hunter tried shaking her out of her sudden stupor but she pushed him away and watched in awe as Ymir addressed her guests.

"Fellow business men, honoured guests and everyone else I don't give a shit about!" she exclaimed, garnering a few tense chuckles. No one would dare oppose her in anyway. She was far too powerful. "You are all gathered here today to celebrate my intelligence and skill, since I just got you all millions of fucking dollars!"

"She's insane," Hunter muttered.

"Shh..."

"I want you all to enjoy your time here, because there's nothing better than letting dogs feed off of my hand. And since you all owe me every part of your damn money, I suggest you keep it as peaceful as possible. I already have the ability to blackmail each and every one of you, so don't think to try something funny."

Krista frowned and turned, shoving Hunter against the buffet table. He yelled and crashed against the expensive food and drink, causing a commotion with the guards and guests.

"Distract them!" the blonde whispered harshly. Hunter nodded and grabbed a guest to fling him at the nearest guard. He put his fists up and started brawling with whoever came his way. Ymir had already fled behind the curtains of the platform.

Krista slowly went up the stairs, careful to avoid anyone's eyes as she crept along the railing. Once up, she tore her dress at the sides and took out her gun. Below, Hunter had already knocked out several guards and more were pouring in from the staff rooms. The blonde glided toward the entrance into the host's private quarters. She lifted her gun and pointed it straight in front of her.

"Ymir! I've finally..." The agent trailed off as the room was empty. There was no exit, so where could she have gone?

The room was grand and maroon, beige couches trimmed in gold and walls filled with exotic paintings. A tray sat atop a dresser with a serving of aged wine along with two crystal glasses. There was a note attached to the bottle. Krista picked it up then crumpled it, pulling the first drawer of the dresser. She grabbed the bottle and both glasses and watched as one of the paintings slid away to reveal a hidden exit.

_'Come join me. Pull the drawer, it should open up a tunnel. And bring the alcohol with you. I could really use a drink right now.'_

x

Ymir watched the feed from her monitors as they shifted constantly. Stocks dropping, some rising, news of unfortunate accidents involving rivals, global leaders and their supposed justice. The room she was in was filled with an ethereal, blue glow. It was one of many secret lairs she had hidden all across the world in order to operate her company while on trips. She could topple governments and lead a revolution all from her keyboard and screens.

However, her eyes displayed minimal interest in her activity since her ears were focused on the gentle clicking of heels behind her. Without turning away, she addressed the person.

"So, you found me," Ymir laughed, spinning on her chair and crossing her legs. Her brown hair was let loose against her skin. She wore a tight black vest over a white dress shirt, black slacks completing her look. She gave Krista's attire a hungry once-over and raised an eyebrow. "I see you're eager to get in bed with me."

The agent clenched her teeth. "Shut up. I'm taking you in for all the crimes you've committed."

"Crimes? What crimes?"

"Murder, extortion, blackmail, theft, fraud... the list goes on endlessly!" she accused.

Ymir dismissed her with a hand gesture and motioned to the alcohol. "You're not gonna let me go without a drink, are you?" she asked, smirking.

Krista was taken aback. "What? You're not fighting?"

Ymir shrugged. "Eh, I'm tired of all this. It's too much work. I figured I'd enjoy a nice glass of wine with my biggest fan before doing some hard time."

The blonde frowned but approached the brunette. She gave her one glass and ignored the way her face heated up as Ymir trailed her fingers slightly up her arm. Goosebumps rose to meet her touch and Krista released a heavy breath as she stepped back. She poured Ymir the drink before waiting for her to pour hers. Ymir sipped from her glass, her eyes never leaving Krista as the blonde returned to her initial position.

"Say, whatever happened to us? Didn't we have something going?" Ymir asked airily, swirling the drink in her hand.

Krista snorted and shook her head. "It was over when you killed Krista."

"Ah yes, when I blew up your hometown and forced you to watch the death of your childhood. I'm sorry about that, by the way. I only did what I thought was right."

Krista was enraged. "How was blowing my hometown for the greater good?" she yelled.

Ymir shrugged. "I didn't say it was for good. It was the right decision for me at that time. The only way to get you off my trail was to keep you occupied with something else."

"Well, it didn't work," Krista retorted moodily, "and you're over now."

"At least I got laid. With you!" Ymir laughed, ignoring the weak glare sent her way. "Oh shut up, midget, I know you enjoyed it."

"Whatever."

"You're such a kid."

"Listen, your little break is over, got it? I'm going to arrest you... and... oh." Krista stumbled as she pulled out her gun and slumped against the wall. Ymir stood and put her glass on her desk, the contents full and untouched. She had faked her sips the whole time, while Krista had emotionally taken the bait and consumed the heavy alcohol.

"What's wrong?" Ymir asked, genuinely filled with concern, though she knew what she had done.

"You... what did you do?" Krista demanded weakly, raising her gun at Ymir. The brunette sighed and pushed the hand down. She bent her head and ghosted a kiss over the blonde's forehead.

"I'm doing what's right."

Outside, the hall exploded just as Hunter was escorted out. He looked behind him in horror as he remembered Krista. "HISTORIA!" he screamed, struggling against the guards. They let him go as they tried to make sense of the disaster, calling emergency phone lines and picking through the rubble for survivors.

Just before Hunter could go berserk and call the agency, a brunette came up to him carrying the aforementioned blonde. He watched, dumbstruck, as she placed her in front of him and gently, like a lover, brushed the dust from her cheeks and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. She turned to him and nodded.

"Take care of her." She suddenly sprinted away before he could capture her, so he focused on tending to the blonde. So far, it seemed she was only knocked out. He wondered what had happened before the explosion between her and Ymir, and if they had a history, but decided to ask her another time.

Krista mumbled and shifted in Hunter's arms, smiling. "Ymir..."


End file.
